I’ve observed in my 54 years that a true test of a relationship is to travel together in a faraway place that is new to both people. If the relationship survives the decisions, apprehensions and expectations that such a trip forces or reveals, then it’s likely that it will continue at least a little longer, if not for a long time.

What if the “two” people on this trip aren’t two different people (be it a couple or 2 friends), but are the me I’ve been and the me I want to be?

Stay with me here! This existential talk won’t go on a whole lot longer. I just want to give adequate framing for what I feel is my main takeaway from this trip: The timing, the time (the spaces, or blocks of time), the places, the inspirations along the way, the people, the conversations, the quiet … these allowed me to see in clearer relief, the changes I want to make in my life. To get along with myself (to keep growing, finding joy, making a difference, etc.), I’ll need to make some adjustments.

How perfect that I quit my job (career of 20+ years) a few months ago, to take a little time to figure out what’s next, eh?

Steve and I returned a few weeks ago from a week-and-a-half trip that was constructed thusly: 2 days in Amsterdam with my brother and sister-in-law, then a 6-day cycling trip in the Netherlands and Belgium with Backroads tours, then another 2 days on our own in Amsterdam.

Trip Theme 1: Slow

There were 40+ transport lengths (yay for bike trips! And ferries, horse-drawn coaches, canal boats, trains, etc.), so this … expedition was full of timetables, outfit changes, group meals and general busy-ness. Still: over the 10 days, there were several moments when we could take our time, and allow things we saw and experienced to connect or resonate with our selves and our lives.

Perhaps it’s simply that I’m finally mature enough to say “hey, this is enough hurrying, enough moving. I’d like to take a moment and notice something…”

Such as: my dress had the (nearly) EXACT pattern that was in the lobby rug at our elegant hotel (the Des Indes) in the Hague. At the Hotel Des Indes, we found time to write postcards, to take a luxurious bath, to enjoy a not-so-hastily prepared lobby-bar cocktail, and to chat with the concierge to find a Surinamese restaurant.

These happened because we opted out of cycling another 20 miles, that day.

During the cycling trip, it was particularly easy to find or create these moments, thanks to the Backroads model. It’s so adaptable, day-to-day. If you’re feeling like less (or no) mileage, or you want to spend some time doing non-cycling activities in your hotel’s town, you can do it. We did, on 4 of the 6 days and got to enjoy 2 museums, put our feet up to relax, and spend a half-day with friends who drove up from elsewhere in the Netherlands.

I recommend this tour company and we plan to take another trip with them, again! Not so surprisingly, the 2024 catalog arrived in our mailbox at home less than a week after our trip. Sardinia and Nova Scotia are still high on our list, but given some input from our fellow travelers and guides, the Gulf Islands of British Columbia and Croatia sound great, too.

Other moments of noticing: several in our 3 days in Bruges! I rediscovered a pleasure of strolling through very old cities (Bruges existed even before the 1200s). Seeing architectural (an oratory) and infrastructural (a beer pipeline, and the Delta Works) artifacts and art, and moving through smaller -or larger!- spaces makes me think about what it was like for people then, compared to life there (or at home), today. Am I fortunate? What is progess? What are we aiming for?

Another day that we gave minimal structure to, that allowed us to play things by ear and make a few discoveries was our last day: we had a reservation and guided tour at the Rijksmuseum on the morning of our final full day of the trip.

The tour, given by a man who was also a secondary schoolteacher, focused on some key artworks via a 90-minute walking story. It gave us just the right amount of exposure to the building, grounds, and artwork. The ticket allowed us to spend the whole day with the 8,000 artworks on display, but instead we chose to grab lunch at the museum café, chatting with two friendly Canadians, then mosey back to our hotel for brief rest.

Finally, we ventured out again on foot to check out the Albert Cuyp street market, one of the city’s many green spaces (Frekericksplein), tuck into In De Wildeman for a few excellent Dutch brews, then finally enjoy our final meal in town at the Kimpton DeWitt hotel (our favorite of our 2 Amsterdam hotels).

Trip Theme 2: Excellence

There are adventure vacations where you push your limits and see places only accessible to the skilled, fit and daring.

There are lazing-about vacations, focused on escape from stresses of home.

There are travel experiences where people make effort to give you something beautiful, delicious and/or sensually pleasing: to appeal to your senses to make you feel happy for a moment or a day.

This was the latter. While as humans we have a long way to go in terms of making this accessible to everyone, this recent experience taught or reminded me a lot of what it means for humans to take care of each other and try to present the very best of what their home country can offer.

Maybe it’s a sign that we are making decisions based on learnings from past trips, such as this one in 2019 when I struggled with my former preference to take the more physically challenging routes.

It was nice to be taken care of, to be comfortable, to find ease and delight in well-appointed, beautiful and skillfully-prepared lodgings, meals and transportation. I’m fortunate enough to have the option to pay for higher-than-cheapest-and-still-safe places to stay and eat.

Some of the lovely places included our hotels, for their décor and service, the Rijsmuseum & Mauritshuis, the Amsterdam and Bruges canals at dusk, and most meals (especially at De Kas in Amsterdam).

Checking the boxes

We signed up for this trip for a handful of reasons: Desire to do another bike trip was the first one. I love cycling and it’s such a great way to see a country and get more exercise than if you take trains/cars/planes everywhere.

Our first choices were Sardinia or Novia Scotia, but slightly higher trip price and higher difficulty of rides for those guided us to the runner-up destination of low countries. Beer, chocolate, cheese, easy miles and the chance to finally visit the Rijksmuseum had a lot of appeal! I had been to this part of Europe a few times before, but hadn’t stopped for a longer visit than a train or air transfer.

Several friends had recommended Backroads. After our last bike trip experience, we were curious to see if this model (with on-route guides and also on-bike navigation computers) would offer easier navigation (it did!) and more interaction with other travelers (yes, it did!) and with locals (again: yes).

The Dutch and Belgians that we met were friendly and so ready to share their stories and culture with us! I regret not learning more conversational Dutch, because I feel it’s the bare minimum of respectful prep you can do before visiting a country. And yet, everyone there spoke English, so it wasn’t needed.

Top 10 Top Things:

• Food/drink: A tie between the first beer I had at In De Wildeman (a Tripel from Maallust, and the 6th course – a first dessert that was both savory (cheese) and sweet (white chocolate and fig)- at our De Kas dinner.
• Ride: Arriving in Bruges, we went through a deeply wooded area (my photo, here). Nice to see so much green, in such an old city!
• Transport: our private Amsterdam canal tour, on the Pulitzer “Belle” open-top boat. It was on our first day there, and it had been a hot afternoon. The cool evening breeze, beautiful evening views, and personal tour from captain Karim made it so special for me, Steve, Laura and Mike!
• Shop: both bike shops we visited. I bought a great new bell for my bike in Amsterdam, and in Bruges at Exceller bikes, we enjoyed a beer tasting after purchasing Steve a new jersey!
• Gear: the Backroads bikes: so lightweight and fun to ride up and down the puny hills (AKA zoom all over the flats!) in this part of Europe!
• Transpo infrastructure: there. I wish bikes were as integrated into my city.
• Best part of BR model: the group dinners. Food was top-notch, but the company and surprising ease of the 15-person meal was delightful.
• Touristy activity: Rijksmuseum tour: “I will tell you a story” or the oratory at Gruuthusemuseum. I found it fascinating that wealthy people could just tack on a private box to the outside of a cathedral, so that they could “participate” in services away and above the people inside.
• Item I wish I’d brought: binocs. To see birds & wildlife! From now on: they travel everywhere with me.
• Item that was a waste of space in my suitcase: flip flops. Weird suggestion by Backroads. Probably not so weird on trips where hot springs or warm beaches might be in the offing.
• Item on a breakfast buffet: Honey from on-prem hives, to go on my toast.

Trip Prep

Before our trip, I read a book about Boom Chicago, the improv comedy theater in Amsterdam that was founded by a few comedians from Chicago, some 30 years ago. A friend helped write it (he also helped us do so many awesome and fun things in Amsterdam: thanks, Matt!), and it was such an enjoyable read and helpful overview of Dutch culture! I found that its year-by-year chronicle, folding in themes and many conversations, gave me plenty to look foward to, in our trip. Sadly, we didn’t get to a Boom show, on this trip but we hope to, next time.

In terms of cycling prep: over the summer, I did weekly longer rides, building up my butt’s tolerance to a 3+ hour ride (45 miles).

My longest ride on the trip was 50 miles, which was a few more than my last training ride. I felt strong and resilient!

Looping Back

So, about those changes I want to make in my life. The themes of Slow and Excellence fold into it neatly: I’ve already begun simplifying, though I’ve got a ways to go. Hopefully, applying a mantra to help me make daily decisions will help keep things on track. Perhaps “Keep It simple and fabulous!”?

I turned a corner in August and since then, I’ve been noticing things I didn’t expect. I was looking forward to some freedom to focus on expanding my yoga-related activities, but I’m (also) already finding time and space, finally, to listen better and to learn more effectively.

I’m excited for this coming year.

Want to see more photos? Here’s an online album in Smugmug!