Scaredy Pumpkins

Question: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

My Answer: Fear. It has reared its ugly and very large head to (or rather, within) me a few times this year. I respect it. I’ve looked very deeply into its eyes to determine its nature so that I can defeat it. Or, at least, to stun it into submission, with the laser beams that fire out directly from my pupils.

Early in 2010 I recognized how deeply and thoroughly a fear of public speaking has affected my life. I also learned how paralyzing was my fear of disappointing a parent or authority. Epiphanies around both happened in my yoga teacher training. I am grateful to the yoga teacher who convinced me to take the training course; I am also grateful to myself for choosing to take it, and later, for choosing to teach.

But how to I express gratitude for fear? By continuing to teach yoga, and seeking other opportunities to get more comfortable speaking in front of people. And by continuing to question my easy deferral to authority and not doubting my own knowledge and experience.

Note: this post was inspired by the Reverb10 project. Great idea! The rest of December is now full of ample opportunities to think, write, and maybe even come up with interesting things to share in my yoga teaching.