Chocolates For My Friend

Question: How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

Answer: I gave some of these chocolates to her, yesterday. One very good friend managed to change my perspective on communication, perception and subtle violence, this year.

It was in a sudden burst, though the burst was enabled by some prep work from my yoga practice, this past year. I’ve been thinking a lot about communication. Specifically, what the Yoga Sutra’s Yama of “Satya” means, for me: to speak the truth, but in an aware, loving way.

I love words, and I’m a terrible liar. In terms of communication, I’ve long felt that a) it is always best to communicate exactly what I’m feeling and b) I have a strong enough grasp of the English language, to pull that off.

Well, I’ve learned from a few interactions, mainly with that friend, that there are additional factors at play, in my words. What I say or write can betray underlying feelings, which can confuse a message, both in terms of what I want to say, and in terms of how I make the recipient feel when she receives the message. In one instance, I’d been feeling low in self-confidence on that day (and possibly week), and my words in turn conveyed that I was less than confident in that friend, which was not true. It was so contrary to my intended message, but there it was. I felt terrible, once I discovered what I’d done. I’m choosing my words with even more care, than I used to, now. This is partly why this post is a day behind!

Weapons don’t always have sharp edges or gunpowder. Forever posing challenges, this life is. Yes, I’m wondering if I’ll need to start talking like Yoda, to speak lovingly, and truthfully.

This post was inspired by the Reverb10 project – the prompts for yesterday, and today.